Uncle Popov LIVE!!

Yeah, yeah, yeeaahh!

Its time. For what you might ask? For another segment of UP LIVE!! you goddamn idiot! I’m going to intermittently post about King James and his impending decision and as always pretend that anyone, anywhere is actually reading. LET’S DO THIS SHIT.

5:41 PM CST: Diane Sawyer and all her global resources at ABC News are reporting that LeBron will more than likely end up in Miami, one of the main reasons being the state of Florida doesn’t have a state income tax. Breaking news there.

5:43 PM: They mentioned something about the economic impact on each city that are still a player in the LBJ sweepstakes. I honestly didn’t listen bc I just do not care about that kind of shit. ABC “World” News also promises to revisit this story before they sign off tonight. They also had some stooge on the scene of the Boys/Girls Club or whatever it is from which our regal King will be making his announcement. I nearly pissed myself at the mere sight of its brick facade.

5:57 PM: ABC are basically replaying ESPN’s sports science or whatever the hell its called discussing LBJ’s freakish build/athleticism, etc. Yawn…

But don’t forget, Robin Roberts and GMA will have LeBron’s first interview AD tomorrow morning!!

Part of the reason I’m doing this is, as my dear Uncle mentioned in a post earlier, *NO ONE* knows a goddamned thing about any of this. Nothing. And it speaks to what journalism, in particular sports journalism, has become in today’s world. There is no reporting. None. No one does any legwork. And ESPN is the biggest culprit. They gave a mouthpiece to Stephen A. Smith to sling shit at the wall. And he’s still doing it. More often then not, something will stick. Now they trot out Chris Broussard, who I’m still not convinced has a basic grasp on the English language, to um… and ahh…. for a few hours and remind us, ad fucking nauseum, that its all a “fluid situation.”

These people get on Twitter and tell you what they just read *ON TWITTER*. Its awful and if this farcical “Summer of 2010” has done anything, its proven that mainstream sports journalism in the United States is *DEAD*. D-O-fucking-A. Its not the “reporters/insiders” fault that they still collect a (huge) check. Its their employer’s.

6:19 PM: Local 6 o’clock news has yet to even mention a damn thing about anything LeBron. Its probably due to the fact that Jim Rose is involved.

6:23 PM Rose just let us know that Chris Broussard is reporting that LBJ is going to Miami. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT.

6:45 PM: I flipped over to ESPN briefly but just couldn’t stay yet. I’m probably going to go make a sandwich soon. I got sucked in to some PBS news story about University of Alabama professors down on the Gulf Coast working against the oil and tar balls washing up.

7:02 PM: ESPN with an unbelievably dramatic intro to [GASP…] THE DECISION.

I just truly didn’t know there were this many NBA fans in this country. And I absolutely LOVE basketball. I grew up in both Kentucky and Indiana. I didn’t have a choice. But I just wasn’t aware that there were this many people who gave a shit about basketball in this country. Football? Of course. Baseball? Maybe. Basketball? No way. I’ve witnessed (!) entirely too many basketball games with awful (paltry?) attendance.

Do we really care about basketball?

7:17 PM: I’ve begun making a sandwich. I won’t eat it over the computer. ESPN, which you all have access to, is running tape of player interviews re: LeBron. Exciting.

I just don’t think LBJ is going to Miami. I just don’t think its going to happen. How’s THAT for reporting? Wade County and all, right?

7:46 PM: ESPN have brought back in TIM LEGLER and he is mentioning *SKILL SETS* and he knows what he’s talking about, right? This is all getting extremely exciting.

7:53 PM: ESPN ARE ON COMMERCIAL!!

7:55 PM: I’ve not cocked my neck over to glance at the TV but I’m pretty sure that I just heard Stu Scott’s voice, which would only serve to bring this farce around full circle.

I just glanced over and Scott is in fact inviolved. As is Jon Barry.

GOOD LORD.

7:59 PM: ESPN have announced their “findings” re: their online poll. Its “real life stuff” as some white guy sitting in ESPN studios just mentioned.

Journalism.

8:03 PM: HERE WE GO! Chris Broussard is an embarrassment to humanity.

8:12 PM meh… ESPN have shown us LBJ in various team’s #6 jerseys. Good lord I really get the feeling that the media doesn’t realize that the rest of us have internet access.

8:23 PM: OH SHIT! LeBron is on TV *RIGHT NOW*

8:27 PM: King keeps talking.

8:28 PM: Did he just choose Miami? I honestly don’t know. Christ this is stupid.

He just chose Miami. Good for him. Good luck with all of it. When does football start?

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One thought on “Uncle Popov LIVE!!

  1. honestly, jubbo. this was the funniest thing you have written here. and the best. damn fine job. i need to commission you to do more live reporting.

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