The Idiots at THE Ohio State University

Thank you “Buckeye Nation.”  95,722 Ohio State fans packed Ohio Stadium, setting the national spring day attendance record.  And every single one of them is a moron!

I have been to exactly one spring game and it was extremely boring.  It was in 2002 at Alabama and it was about as boring as attending a real Florida State game.  The spring “game”  is not a game, but a scrimmage — it is practice!!!  And when is practice ever exciting?  The only time practice is interesting is if there is a fight!  And I doubt that the coaches would allow that to take place.  So spring games are glorified practices that never tells you much about the up-coming season.

But in 2007 the “game” changed.  Suddenly, the practice became a big deal when newly-hired Alabama head coach Nick Saban held his first A-Day game.  Delusional Alabama fans came from the Boonies and beyond to pack Bryant-Denny Stadium.  And pack it they did —  to the tune of 92,138.  It was a national spring game attendance record…and they could have been more (many fans were turned away at the gate)!

And the media had a field day with it.  It surprised many.  And many more laughed at Alabama and their delusional fan base.  “92,000 rednecks for a SPRING GAME!”  Now some were perhaps jealous because their own teams could not draw 92,000 to their regular season games, but the criticism was warranted.  Were there really 92,000+ people who wanted to watch practice?  I was perplexed by the stupidity of Alabama fans.

But not as perplexed as I was for Ohio State fans.  And I am not talking about just this year.  In 2007, while people were blasting Alabama and their fans for having 92,000+ at a spring game, Ohio State quietly had 75,301.  But, unlike Tide fans which were able to get into Bryant-Denny Stadium for free, Buckeye fans actually paid to see their team practice!!!  Who pays to see practice!?  Well, Ohio State fans apparently.  And they are not the only team that does that (USC does it as well).

So which is worse — 92,000 showing up to watch a practice for free; or 75,000 paying to watch practice?  Both are idiots, but paying to see a practice goes beyond dumb.  Can it get any worse than that?

It should be illegal to have so many idiots in one place at the same time!

It should be illegal to have so many idiots in one place at the same time!

Yes, it can!  How about combining the two?  Yes, this year’s version of Ohio State’s spring game also came with a fee.  So all 95,722 of the Buckeye fans that showed up to Ohio Stadium in Columbus to watch practice actually PAID TO BE THERE!!! Assuming that everyone did pay (not sure if children were admitted free of charge), that means that $478,610 were spent to watch PRACTICE!!!!!!!!  Economic downturn my ass!

So, thank you Buckeye fans!  You actually made Alabama fans look like geniuses.  And you would think that it would finally deflect some of the smack that Alabama fans (and football fans in the South in general) receive.

But of course, that did not stop Los Angeles Times “columnist” Chris Dufresne (whoever the hell that is) from taking a shot at the South’s obsession with football (nor did it stop him from taking shots at UCLA…for some reason).  I guess he is upset over the fact that L.A. STILL does not have a professional franchise!

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